[At some point, he might have been able to. At the Academy, maybe, or before the professor (or perhaps just Gilbert, in this case?) found him and gave him a way to actively seek his vengeance. But not at that moment. It was far too late then, he can tell. Dimitri steps up beside Felix, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.]

I did not want to be saved. Me surviving that battle at Gronder was a miracle, one that no one could have pulled off alone. Almost everyone I speak to here seems to remember me dying there...

[He's even had it described to him, vividly. Dimitri shudders, pulling Felix in a little closer.]

I felt that I belonged to the dead. A part of me still — still thinks that I should have died there in place of the people that fell for me. Please... please do not blame yourself. I am absolutely certain I had decided to die before you ever spoke to me that night.