garregmach | (no subject)

(no subject)

[ It's been a few days since the first arrivals trickled in to this iteration of the monastery, and there's been some improvement to the area, at least.

Which is fortunate, really, because the clouds have finally decided to open up and let out a torrential downpour.

The grass out in the courtyard almost immediately becomes saturated with water, squishing beneath people's feet as they step through it. Drainage in the monastery is a real problem in some parts, particularly near the marketplace area. Slowly, as time passes, pools begin to form, though some of the remaining debris serves as a decent buffer between the water and whatever crates merchants may have left behind. It may be a good idea to salvage some of that, though it's not likely to be ruined thanks to said debris. In general, it's likely a rude awakening for any new arrivals.

Of course, some would say that rainy days are the best when it comes to fishing; some would even say they're right, given how the fish seem to be out in droves at the lake. If one didn't mind potentially getting soaked, they could bring in a real haul during this rainstorm. The dining hall is not nearly as well stocked as it had been in its heyday, so this could potentially be beneficial for the community.

For some, it's likely best to stay inside and find shelter from the rain. Thankfully, most of the monastery roofing seems to be intact, save for a few sizeable holes in the cathedral. Still, that doesn't mean there isn't a leak here and there, so watch your step, particularly in the dining hall and the second floor of the dormitories as well. It might not be a bad idea to put a few buckets out to catch all that water . . . ]

[[ MORE HOUSEKEEPING, hey what's up guys:

please PM this journal if there are more setting changes you'd like to be noted! i.e. if your character did some sprucing up in the greenhouse, just let me know and I will update the setting page accordingly.
as noted on the "mod" plurk, I'll try putting up open posts roughly once a week going forward. it'll depend on how things are going, no big. ]]

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Ah, yes. You looked very excited to see me.

[ what is this.. his expression actually softens a little and there might just be the hint of a smile curving one corner of his mouth. ]

You looked so small and innocent..

[ and yet still taller than felix but let's not mention that. the smile vanishes as fast as it has appeared when he turns to look at dimitri. ]

Tell me about that.. other Felix.

[Yes, he certainly did look that way back then, didn't he? Thinking back on it now, it's unnerving. It's no wonder Felix growled and snapped at him to stop walking around on his hind legs. It was only a matter of time before he broke.

Dimitri stiffens.]

...you were... in the cathedral. Praying. At first, you thought I was a ghost. You said that you let me die. You wouldn't believe that I was real until I touched your face.

[His hand lifts slightly as if he's about to do exactly that, but it lowers after a moment.]

I stayed there with you for the rest of the night. With him, I suppose.

[As for the tears, he won't mention them. Surely, Felix knows himself well enough to know.]

[ a look of confusion passes over his face upon hearing all that, but felix doesn't comment on it. not for a solid minute or so.

eventually, he heaves out a sigh. ]

I see.

[ another moment of silence. he can guess what happened and the thought alone makes him uncomfortable. crying isn't something he does a lot, but dimitri is one big soft spot for him, so.. ]

I guess we should find a way to tell us.. me apart then.

I agree. I don't wish to cause further pain by saying something insensitive. Perhaps —

[Dimitri glances to the hair tie.]

Perhaps you could put a small ornament of some type on your hair tie? No one else needs to know, then. I am sure neither one of you would enjoy discussing this with others, and that you would like having me doing so for you even less. I have not seen Sylvain or Ingrid here, so I do not think it necessary to inform any of the others.

An ornament.. I suppose that sounds reasonable.

[ ~~finally an excuse to put flowers in his hair to accentuate his dirt like quality.~~

felix thinks for another moment, then looks at dimitri once more. ]

What if there are more of you around as well? I mean.. Older you.

[If his younger self makes him uncomfortable, the thought of confronting himself from a few months ago (or at any point over those five years) is horrifying. Dimitri swallows hard, crossing his arms.]

...that would depend on my mental state. It is possible I would have to imprison myself. I told the other you before, but Edelgard is here. Considering our circumstances, we have agreed upon a truce.

[Wait. If Felix is from the end of the war and Dimitri is still alive, then —]

I would appreciate it if you did not speak with her about our past. She... remembers it, but she doesn't realize that it was me.

[ felix looks up, eyes wide in a mixture of both shock and confusion. he definitely hasn't met her yet, but it shouldn't surprise him at all that edelgard is here as well. ]

She doesn't.. Oh.

[ more rubbing at his forehead. ]

If we're not careful, things might turn dangerous.

Between those from the Kingdom and the Alliance, she is vastly outnumbered, here. In addition to that, Bernadetta and Linhardt have conflict-avoidant personalities. Hubert and Edelgard are the biggest potential threats, and they are both smart enough to know better than to try anything under these circumstances.

[Which honestly has him worried for her, as ridiculous as that sounds. Dimitri looks away.]

I think I know the answer already considering our interactions here, but when I went to speak with Edelgard... we could not come to an understanding, could we?

Hubert.

[ he doesn't say anything else. just a clench of the fists and a sour expression. yeah, he has met that guy.

it's gone the next moment, upon hearing that question. ]

You could say that. Things got ugly towards the end of the war.

[He knew it. Dimitri knew it, and still, a part of him kept on hoping otherwise — continues to hope that maybe things won't be the same for him when this spell is broken. But he can hear a traitorous voice inside him whispering "there was never any other way", and for a moment, he can't stop the devastation from that thought from warping his features.

Dimitri calms quickly enough, simply looking exhausted and defeated after a few seconds.]

I see, [he finally says, unable to manage anything more.]

[ felix definitely notices that change in expression and for a moment it's back, that feeling of having to try and contain that beast by his side. but just like that it's gone and dimitri looks.. tired? felix blinks at him, not really sure of what to say.

so, eventually he doesn't say anything. he merely reaches over and gives dimitri's forearm a short, reassuring squeeze. if there's one thing felix has learned throughout the war, it's that sometimes words aren't enough to convey certain feelings and sentiments. ]

[If anything, words just cause more trouble between them. Dimitri's head lifts in surprise, but he smiles softly to himself when the meaning behind the gesture sinks in. He reaches up with his opposite hand and places it on top of Felix's, silently acknowledging the comfort and his appreciation for it. The reminder that Felix is still here despite all the times they've clashed over the years is a great comfort, indeed.]

[ ah. it seems to work. felix wasn't sure whether it would, but considering that dimitri is putting a hand on his own so readily means that he didn't do anything wrong this time around, right? he'll have to remember that for the future.

though he doesn't mind staying here for a little while longer, as long as dimitri doesn't mind. especially because.. ]

Still wet, huh.

[ he's tugging at his hair again. ]

[Dimitri doesn't seem to mind at all. He is keenly aware of the way Felix shies away if he gets too "mushy", though, so he releases his hand after a gentle squeeze.]

Well, you do have thick hair.

[Should he fluff it? He's going to fluff it, that should hopefully dispell this awkwardness a bit. Dimitri reaches out with that same hand, ruffling Felix's hair until it sits more like his does.]

That should help.

[ ah, thanks for making a mess out of him. felix looks hardly impressed with the fluffing, but at least he doesn't.. hiss and try and scratch out the only eye dimitri has left. ]

I should probably cut it.

[ if it grows any longer, the curls will come out and he's going to look even more like his father. which is absolutely not what felix wants. ]

Do you think so? I have always thought that you have lovely hair.

[As ever, Dimitri spouts off embarrassing nonsense with a straight face. It's the truth, yes, but that only makes it worse in some people's eyes. It really would be a shame for Felix to cut his hair off, though.

...but Dimitri should probably cut his at some point. He fingers the ends of his own hair thoughtfully.]

[ l..ove..ly... hair.........

felix is completely still for a moment, so dimitri can watch how his cheeks turn from pale to bright red, if he wants to. either way, thanks for that. ]

That's--

[ he presses his lips together and looks away, frowning harder. ]

I don't. Really care. What other people think.

[ uh-huh. sure. ]

[Of course he doesn't. Dimitri doesn't notice at first, but as soon as Felix looks away, his gaze is drawn toward him. He's so silly about certain things! Dimitri rests his elbows on his thighs, leaning over and forward in an attempt to try and force Felix to look at him again.]

I am envious. I do not care all that much what people think of my physical appearance, but in other ways, I probably care too much...

[ why does he have to lean in!! felix is busy being embarrassed right now, get a hint, you giant, oversized boar. ]

That's..

[ wait.. he has to use his brain for that. so he looks at dimitri again. ]

..what is it exactly that you care too much about?

If I have upset or inconvenienced people. It is difficult to find a balance between selfishness and being overly apologetic.

[Especially for Dimitri. He has an unfortunate tendency to overdo things. If he's trying to be kind, he ends up trying too hard. but if he's not it's even worse, so he's decided it's something he will just have to live with.]

Ah. That.

[ yeah. that.

felix looks away for a moment, hand once again coming up to fumble at his hair. ]

I guess you can only learn through practice.

Well then, I suppose I shall have to put myself in your hands. Goddess knows you are not afraid to tell me when I have displeased you.

[...and it's also basically impossible for Dimitri to not care about said displeasure unless he's so far gone that he doesn't care about anything, but that is beside the point.]

Someone has to be honest with you.

[ which isn't even wrong.. not like people blatantly lie to dimitri's face, but they do tend to try and make things sound nicer so as to not hurt his feelings. felix wants none of that, which is why he steps on so many toes. ]

I appreciate that. Truly, I do. I think I could stand to hear it without the insults, but...

[Dimitri gives Felix a gentle, playful nudge, rising from his seat.]

I will not expect it. You can carry on as you are. With me, at least.

[A little discretion regarding Edelgard, however, would be wise. He just hopes they can avoid each other.]

[ he tilts his head to the side at that, eyebrows raised slightly as he looks up at dimitri. ]

Of course. I'll treat you the same as I always did.

[ insults included. ]

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